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Saturday, August 16th, 2003
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Well i might as well update this lame peice of shit. Im getting homeschooled this year cause both my mother and i agree that it would be best. I dont think i can take school this year.
Im now on Lexapro, Zyprexa, some energy thing for the day, and a nausea pill. The Lexapro has been giving me massive migraines but maybe that will change in time.
I feel sick on my stomach all the time. Every second i feel like im going to throw up.
Everyone thinks im okay but im not. Im not okay with anything anymore....things have just gone completely downhill and ive lost everything. I have two fucking friends now, and fucking roy lied to me about something and i broke up with Daniel. So now im completely alone.
I cant sleep at night, i go to bed at 6AM because im up half the night crying and shaking and panicking.
Its gotten so bad that when i see a moth on the wall at night, i think its a camrea and i jump up to smash it. At Kings Dominion the other day, i started freaking out at the Eiffel Tower. THen on teh way back there was a little black box in teh car and i started crying and i thought it was a bomb.
So yeah, im sick of writing my thoughts in here, so im just gonna delete this peice of shit. Im afraid to write in it, im afraid to get on the instant messenger cause i know cruel things might be said to me and i just cant take it anymore. This journal will be deleted in a week.
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(2 Went Through The Looking Glass |Eat Me)
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Hmmm Mary, Jessikuh or Brooke, do any of you have my Labyrinth movie? cause last night i reaaaaaaally wanted to watch it and it was nowhere to be found. So if ya do just comment and tell me. THanks
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(5 Went Through The Looking Glass |Eat Me)
| Time: | 12:38 pm. |
| Mood: |  sad. |
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Last night was a long night. I thought about a lot of things...
It started with me thinking about the eating disorder and how ive become a victim to it and how no matter what i do to overcome it, it comes right back and im once again vomiting. I thought i would stop after that heart attack thing, but i cant, i cant bring myself to stop. And its not even because i think im fat anymore. I stil think im a fucking heffer and all, but i just dont feel the fatness like i used to. Not unless i think about the cruel things people have said to me in the past. THen i start feeling fat, ugly, and worthless. And in a sense, all those things are true. People have made it clear to me that im nothing but a burden in a friendship, im not a good friend, my boyfriend now has told me im not the prettiest person in the world. Not something you should tell your girlfriend huh? But off of the self esteem issue here. I thought about a lot of other things
Like maybe the reason i am the way i am is because of my past, hate to blame it on something liek that. It seems that it all stems from my dad. Last night, i remmehbered things that happened that i had forgotten about. Like the time he picked me up from school and i had dyed my hair red, and on the way home he pulled me over to the side of the road and beat the fuck out of me because he said i looked like my mom. Or the countless times i would visit him, and hed run up to his room with a gun or sharp knife, and say he was going to kill himself. I was ten at the time, so every weekend i was scared to death that id lose my dad. And on Christmas, when he told me he was going to kill himself on Christmas Eve because me and John werent the children he had wanted because we didnt support him through moms divorce. He had told me that it was my fault that they never reunited. Cause I was supposedly supposed to convince my mom to come back to him. No way in hell i would have done that. So i suppose it is my fault. And all the times id have to watch him and my mom beat eachother senseless. Its a funny thought now, but back then it was so scary. The police were at our house every week almost. And all the drugs......id watch my dad smoke pot, i watched him shoot up while he said it was medication for diabetes, i would often find cocain around the house and once even tried it. I mean, the guy was addicted to everything from alcohol, to heroin. It was often that id come home from school to find him laying in the floor in fetal position lying in a pool of his own vomit.
And all of the sudden last night i thought about all of this.
I wondered why im feeling this way. And the thought crossed my head that maybe it could be guilt. But ive came clean with EVERYTHING ive ever fucking done. Ive apologized to everything ive ever done to anybody. So maybe its not guilt. I felt bad that i was hiding everything from my mom. So i told her everything, about me and Andrew, and the motel room, i told her about me and Steven, and me and Daniel....i told her about my first cocain experience. I told her i was addicted to weight loss pills, i told her every bad or questionable thing ive ever done in my entire life. And shes okay with it all.
So its not guilt.
Maybe its just betrayal. Im sure there will be comments on this entry about how nobodys betrayed me, but yes, they have. But its not just recently, its been throughout my whole life. And im sick of it. I dont think i can possibly take it anymore.
Or the thoughtless cruel comments that have been said to me. Like "go shove your fingers down your throat" or "youre the reason you and andrew broke up because youre crazy" or maybe its "work on yourslef and get yourself straightened out" Well what more work do you people need? Im already in therapy, and i think Marcia wants me to go to a treatment facility in Roanoake for the eating disorder. As far as im concerned, WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS. Yes, each and every single one of us. And im pretty sure that some people are more fucked in the head than i am.
And my words have been used against me. Everything i say is thrown back in my face. I dont get it.
Theres been a great deal of people making fun of me as well so ive heard. Thats wonderful.....really. IM sure everyone thinks this entry is voiced toward the crew but its not. Im talking about everybody. Even my family makes fun of me.
I feel bad about John...............i do love my brother, i really do. But even he says mean things to me like "bulemic slut" and shit like that. I do call him a fag, even though i shouldnt. I know that hurts him because of what hes been though before. Im not sure about this but my brother had to be taken away from my dad or someting like that because of unappropriate gestures and stuff. I remember how he moved away when i was little. John moved with my grandparents and i had to stay with my mom and dad.
I ran away about four times when i was younger because i had to put up with the two of them.
I dont even know why im writing all of this, but its on my mind.....
I finally went to bed at about five this morning. I just woke up too.
And i also noticed that im out of weight loss pills again. Now i have to go a day without them. See, i had found a bunch that i had last semester underneath my bed. And ive been taking them every day. And thank god theyre fuckign working. 113 pounds now. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. At least im happy about that.
But now theyre gone, and i cant go to mom and ask her for them or anything. So im screwed. NOw im going to gain tons of weight.
I think what i really needed to say in this entry was, even an apology cant make up for what everyones done. I know its stupid and immature of me to say that, but ive had people apologize to me before, and their words never sunk in cause it never seems sincere. So i really want to give everything a little more time. I obviously havnt cooled down enough for friendships. Im not sure if i ever will.
I was going to go to the mall tonight, but im fear of certain people being there, im staying home.
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(4 Went Through The Looking Glass |Eat Me)
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Wednesday, July 30th, 2003
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Hmm, i have done nothing all week. How fun. But i am going to the mall on Friday night to meet Roy so i can go to a party. So yay.
My friend Michael came over yesterday, we baked brownies. Yay.
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(Eat Me)
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Saturday, July 26th, 2003
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HELLO ALL
I think im going to the mall tonight. Yay! How fun. No, not really. It just shows what a boring ordinary life i have when i loiter at the mall every weekend.
I went last night with Elisa to go see Tomb Raider, good movie. Roy was there. He was actually being really funny, and he wasnt even under the influence of anything. How strange.
I am so bored. I need something to do.....i think im going to go pester my fat little brother. yay
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(Eat Me)
| Time: | 12:39 pm. |
| Mood: |  tired. |
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Last night was horrible....my grandad had a mild heart attack and i spent the whole night in the hospital with mom.
Im so tired
I think Elisa and I are going to go see Tomb Raider tonight, she invited me yesterday, and i dont have much to do, so i suppose ill go.
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(Eat Me)
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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003
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Hi there.
I dont update this peice of shit anymore. Uh, partly cause not many people really read it anyways.
IM listening to Metallica, who rocks? I think I DO
Boredom sucks.
I get to go to my shrink. Oh boy!
And mom wants to put me on another medication cause at night i cant sleep cause im afraid someones gonna come into my house and shoot me. Well its not an unrealistic thought mother, a lot of people hate me and if i were them id want to shoot me. Uh yes.
Oh my god i feel so weird.
Im leaving next week, to leave to Mt. Jackson to stay with Daniel for a couple of days. Yay.
I think im gonna go hang out with Zack this week. Im gonna bring him another sheet to replace the one that me and Daniel ruined. Hehe.
ARG.............
Your grandmother has a ten foot penis
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(6 Went Through The Looking Glass |Eat Me)
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Last night, i hung out with Roy and Dustin looking for a party. We seen lots of people. Talked to Eddie and all his friends. It was fun. I gave Andy a hard time once again. Seen James and Aardvark. I love Ardvark, even if he is a little chunky, id tap it....more than once.
Anyways, when we went back to these apartments where Roy said there was gonna be a party. TONYA WAS LIVING THERE!!!!! YES!!!! THE RETARDED TONYA WHO WALKS TEH STREETS OF STAUNTON!!!! AND SHE HAS A HUGE CRUSH ON ROY!!!!! AND WAS INTIMIDATED BY ME!!!!! AHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH.
Yeah. Turns out, there was no party, no beer, nothing. I was royally pissed. Told mom all about it, so she came and picked me up and gave me about 4 or 5 beers last night. Fun stuff.
I just got off the phone with Daniel..awwwwwwwww hes so sweet. But im not sure if his mom will let him stay next weekend. :(....i hope so. I hope to god that he can stay. That would be BLISS.
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(Eat Me)
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eeeeeeeak! daniels coming to stay with me next weekend. mom finally decided to let him come over. so yay!!!!!! im very very very very very very happy.
Hes so cute!!!!!! I cant believe it!!!!! He looks like this guy i know named Allan, excpet he has blonde hair. awwwwwwww!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sex for me!!!!!!!!!!
um............i love tommy the cat.....tommy the cat loves me toooooooooooooooooo
skjfoawiejflkasjdflkjaowipefl;askjfl;skdjfklasdf
i dont know why im writing in here, i have nothing important to say.
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(Eat Me)
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Wednesday, July 16th, 2003
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I thought i was getting over my hate for Josh....but it has fucking increased. Thanks guys, thanks for calling me in the middle of the fucking night and calling me a slut. Thats EXACTLY what i need concidering my father called earlier yesterday crying his fucking eyes out saying he had to talk to us about something important. Wanna know what that something important could be? Well it could be that hes dying of AIDs which is something my mom mentioned to me a while back, OR it could be that my grandma has died of cancer. She used to write me all the time, and the last letter she wrote was back in January, and it said she was dying of bone cancer. So shes probably dead. So all fucking day i think about my dead grandma or my dying father, and get really depressed THEN later that night i cant fuckign sleep cause im getting phone calls every fucking hour and fatass josh is screaming Slut at me.
He called first at 12 something, said nothing and hung up, THEN he called around 1 o clock, i answer the phone and he screams "SLUT!!!!!!!" then he calls again, screams something random that i dont understand and i tell him to fuck off. he called again and screamed "SLUT!!!!!" at my mom, then he called ONCE AGAIN, around 4 o clock, and my mom told him to go to hell and called him a fat fuck....i think.
Wanna know how i know it was josh? Kinda obvious when Darryls faggity ass is in the background saying "Josh man...who ya callin man?" Stupid druggie fucker.
Fuck you guys.
I talked to Jessikuh and she said she had nothing to do with it. So yes, whoever set josh up to this, youve got something coming for you. Mary if its you, leave me the fuck alone please, i havnt talked to Josh in such a long time, and i dont intend to now, especially after he calls me up saying that shit when i havnt done jack shit to the fat fucker.
FUCK!!!!!
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(4 Went Through The Looking Glass |Eat Me)
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Well, fun night i had last night. Talked to Daniel all hours of the night, then Roy called me. Turns out, he lied about Dustin actually being in a coma, Dustin COULD HAVE been in a coma because of his blood sugar. But thats not what Roy told me before. Anyways, Roy decided to bring Zack and Dustin over to poke some smot. They came over, we toked up, then we played truth or dare, um......i found out Roy actually jizzed all over that girls shirt, and uh, Zack dared Roy to molest my moms cat Bootsie, and he did. Hahahaha. It was funny i must say. And this morning, mom found ripped up bible paper that we used to roll a joint, haha. Shes like "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? FUCKIN MARILYN MANSON OR SOMETHING?!?!?!?! DAMMIT!!!!!" Shes royally pissed at me. I dont think she knows that i smoked it last night, but shes also mad cause everyone smoked all her cigarettes. Oh well, shell get over it.
Hmmmmm, not much else going on. Just wanna talk to my man Daniel, but i need to gets myself a new phone card so i can call hlim. Yeah, everyone doesnt believe that i had ten orgasms, but fuck them anyways, haha. I couldnt of faked it if i tried. So hah!
This song kicks arse!!!!!!!!!!
And now, im going to go get my guitar!!!!!!!!!!
Wow....im still a little high
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(Eat Me)
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I know i havnt updated in a long ass time. Partly cause, nothing has been happening to me, and it seems that everything i write in here it will probably be used against me somehow, or my words will be thrown back in my face like always. So yeah.
Im sure everyone thinks im very depressed and sad and what not. I could be better, but im not as bad off as you think. Ive actually had a lot of fun. A lot of fun. Hehe.
I suppose ill update about everything that has happened to me since i wrote in here last.
Roy called me Monday night and wanted to take me to another party at Zacks house. I decided to go. I didnt even smoke pot or drink, but i did meet a guy. Zacks brother Daniel was in town. He lives in Mt. Jackson. We hit it off really well and talked for half the night. Uh, and we had a pillow fight. yay! I also found out that Roy was "in love" with me. He got pissed cause i was hitting on Daniel and talking to him and paying no attention to roy, so he locked himself in the bathroom for the rest of the night. I ended up breaking my curfew a little and staying till 2. But oh well, i didnt get in too much trouble. On the way home Daniel and i made plans to see eachother the next day.
Next day comes, i go to the mall to meet Daniel there. Roy shows up. Oh joy. We ditched him and walked back to Zacks house at Manchester Apartments. Um, we got there and Daniel played geetar for me. He is incredibly good at the guitar. Roy showed up later, him and Zack went swimming, leaving me and Daniel alone. Soooooooooooooooo, we ended up making out and stuffs and uh, we went to Zacks bedroom and had sex. Then we got in the shower together.....then we had sex again.....then we had another shower......Then later that night we all went to the pool, and when everyone left me and him there, we had sex in the pool. Uh, then i came back to the apartment. He gave me one of his shirts to wear, i let him keep mine. Um.....yeah. Did i mention that i had 10 orgasms?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!? Hahahah, i nicknamed him Dan the Ten Orgasm Man. But yes, mom came to get me, and he asked me out, and hes been calling me like 5 to 6 times every day. I think im going to Mt. Jackson to spend the weekend with him soon.
The few days after me and him macked it good. I had been walking like i was horsebackriding for weeks. hahahah. Oh well, it was worth it.
Um....hmmmmmmm.......
Oh yes....i have sad news
I know the crew isnt up for talking to me. But Dustin Thacker is in a coma right now. Just thought id let you guys know that.....See, hes a diabetic, and he took these "Stackers" pills from the gas station. I think he took like 12, and it really fucked him up, and i believe hes still in the hospital in a coma. Sad news i know. Roy and i were going to go visit him, but Roy never called me back after he told me about it. I wonder whast going on right now. Im really worried about Dustin. I love that man....hes such a good friend to me. I dont know what id do without the simple goat.
And im sure everyones asking, "what about peter?" I LOVE PETER. I really do. BUT.........Daniel and i clicked, in more ways than one. I like Daniel a whole lot. Hes not like other guys ive met. And also, Peter seems like a fucking cyber whore. Theres a girl in CA thats in love with him, there was one in NC, and one in Milwaukee. And ive got news for him, im sure im not the only girl hes getting "married to in vegas" But i do love the guy so much....so much its sickening. He doesnt even IM me anymore. Thats funny concidering he used to do it every fucking day saying how much he loved me. Its getting really irritating. I dont know what else i can do except move on.
Yeah, kinda bored right now, not much going on. I think im gonna go smoke a cigarette and watch a movie or something.
Bye bye everybody
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(3 Went Through The Looking Glass |Eat Me)
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I think everythings over.....im no longer in "the crew" mary hates my fucking guts, so does jessikuh, im sure after brooke hears the mother fuckign story so will she.....
Someone just shoot me for christs sakes. I think im at the point where i will pay loads of money for someone to just blow my godamn brains out.
Im obviously not a good friend. Im obviously the center of all my friends hatred. Im sure they make fun of me and call me names and say bad things about me. but i dont really care cause i love all of them and i just dont know what to do to fix anything.
I fucked up okay? sure maybe its for the 5165465132165645th time, but im really sorry.
I dont remmeber anything i fucking did. I know i wasnt that stoned, but i dont remember anything i said or did. Im not going to blame the pot, but on normal occasions i probably wouldnt do that. It was me tho...you guys have realized what i am, and how i get and what i do when i get pissed like that, and im sorry. I would give anything in the world to stop acting this way....maybe i should be on some form of anti depressant where i cant get upset, or have feelings or anything. I would be a hell of a lot better off.
So i suppose everyones breaking ties with me now....this makes me so sad i feel sick.
And i also thought that we were all going to get together today Jessikuh....you promised me so yesterday. But you never called me, like always. How am i not supposed to think im being ignored when no one ever tries to get in touch with me and hang out? Thats why i think im being ignored and neglected. Cause no one ever really bothers to call me and say "Leah, wanna hang out today?" or "Wanna go somewhere today?" or things like that. I know i make a big fucking deal out of it, but its cause im sick of staying alone all the time. I hate being alone. I want my friends around, not 24/7, but the way it used to be when everyone would be over every weekend. That was fun, and i miss it all so much.
And just to think....i fucked it all over and now i have nothing. No friends...no life....i have absolutely nothing as of now.
But i understand why everyone loathes me. And thats what hurts most. Cause i can see whats wrong with me, and i hate it.
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(9 Went Through The Looking Glass |Eat Me)
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Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003
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Okay! Mom just got here, and if you guys could come over at about 5, that would be good cause im going at two with mom so she can get her hair done, and im getting my eyebrows waxed. So yeah!!!!
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(Eat Me)
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You're the m&m condom!! You lucky mofo!!
Which BRAND NAME condom are you??
brought to you by Quizilla
Wow.....that looks yummy.
Anyways, i just got out of the shower. Im refreshed. Uh,then Roy called, and said that Kevin and Daniel Bells cousin and them stole a twenty four pack from him. Boo hoo. Shouldnt of been hanging around retards then Roy. And Roys going to prison. Something about breaking and entering. That kinda sucks. But oh well....i dont think anything will happen to him. I dont know why. I just feel that hell probably get charged and thats it.
Yeah, for the crew :
Someone needs to fucking call me and tell me you guys are allowed to come tomarrow. Godammit. As of now, i have no clue what the hell you guys are doing. Mom said all you can come over tomarrow at about 2 or 3, we will hang out at my house until its time to go to Shakin. So yeah, if any of you read this, i need someone to call me and tell me that all this is okay. I kinda feel like im being ignored. Cause i keep caling everyones houses and no ones answering. And nobody has called me. I thought you guys still wanted to get together this weekend, but oh well. Just call me to tell me the plans.
I think i may go make myself some cereal. I dunno......thers nothin to eat over here. It pisses me off a lot. But oh well, im not even hungry, im just really bored and well, i guess ill get something to eat. Havnt ate all day so i suppose ill make something.
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(5 Went Through The Looking Glass |Eat Me)
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Well, last night was wondeful. Talked to Peter for a long time. eeeeeeeak!!!!!!!!!!! i love him so much!!!!!!!
anyways, i just found this godawful community for anorexic people who flaunt their disorder and post pictures of themselves, and oh my god.....its so fuckign disgusting. people with REAL issues like that, sure as hell dont fuckign brag about it. Sure, i whine and complain and talk about it a lot....but its on my mind a lot and the only place i say things about it are in my journal. But still, i fucking hate people who think anorexia is a fuckign trend, or its cool to do. ksjfalkaewifasldkjfoaeijasjdfoaweijfaslkdfjowejifasldkjf
That commmunity is added to my spork list.
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(5 Went Through The Looking Glass |Eat Me)
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1.WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Leah Ann Kerschke, and no, im not polish
2.WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? baby blue
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The Scorpions
4.WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER? 9777
5.WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? a popsicle
6.IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? pink
7.HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? 70 something degrees, thank god
8.LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Peter
9.THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? eyes i guess, whether theyre a dick or not
10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU. I stole it from cobain_x_mortis, and shes a really cool chick
11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? annoyed, happy, tired, ive been every mood today
12.FAVORITE DRINK? cream soda
13.FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? um...bloody marys i guess, i never get sick on those
14.FAVORITE SPORTS? RUGBY....no, i hate sports
15.HAIR COLOR? purply red
16.EYE COLOR? brownish yellowish green
17.DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no
18.SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES: John-12 i think, Jeneane-18, Sierra- no clue, Tiffany-my age, and yes my dads a whore, cause everyone other than John is a half sibling
19.FAVORITE MONTH: July
20.FAVORITE FOOD? Chinese food
21.LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Alice in Wonderland
22.FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? hmmm, i like Christmas and the last day of school
24.ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? yeah, usually
25.DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING MOVIES BETTER? both, although i like happy endings
6. DO YOU LIKE SUMMER OR WINTER BEST? Summer
27.HUGS OR KISSES? both are great, kisses mean more though
28.RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? what kind of stupid ass question is that? of course a relationships better, jesus christ
29.CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? vanilla
30.DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? i dont expect them to, it doenst matter
31.WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? hmmmm, im not sure
32.WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? anyone making an anonymous post cause i disabled that! HA!
33.LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? i live with my mom
34.WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? none, guitar books
35.WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? dolphins
36.FAVORITE BOARD GAME? candyland, and i always win
37.WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? talked to Peter <3
38.FAVORITE SMELLS? lucky brand perfume, cookies
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(Eat Me)
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Your pool should be filled with Cranberry Raspberry
JELLO!!! You are a kind and caring person that
has a big imagination and that's why cranberry
raspberry is the perfect flavor for you. So
now you can swim and enjoy the cranberry
raspberry flavor at the same time! WOOHOO!!
What flavor of JELLO should your pool be filled with?
brought to you by Quizilla
the weird thing is....i hate jello
oh well
I just realized today, that hte past four days have been absolutely nothing to me. Ive sat on my ass on the computer, ive slept, ive ate, ive played guitar. Ive been a real heffer. And i think im gaining weight.....i weighed myself...im 117 and have been for a couple of weeks, but still, i feel fucking huge.....it really bugs me.
Ive realized that whoever this bitch is thats IMing me saying shit, i have a plan for you little missy.
First im going to gouge your eyes out with a spork, then im gonna kick you in your ugly face until youre knocked out, them im going to throw you into a dumpster filled with HAWTHORN RATS, then ill pay Tracy 200 dollars to anally rape you, in fact, i may not even have to pay him, hell say "SHIYAT, NO CHARGE HERE, I LOVE BUTT LOVIN" so hah! I have a plan of DOOM for you, so fuck off, OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!
Hehehehheh, i crack myself up sometimes, oh man. :)
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(Eat Me)
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Um yeah! No ones pissed at me, i dont think. Thats good....i was worried that everything wouldnt work out this weekend cause of everything thats been giong on. but oh well, it will be fun!!!!!! i cant wait!!!!!!!
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(Eat Me)
| Subject: | shit |
| Time: | 11:27 am. |
| Mood: | discontent. | | Music: | the beatles only a northern song. |
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Peter called me last night, we talked for a while. AND I AM THE TETRIS MASTER!!!!! HOO HA!!!!!!!
Yeah, some argument happened between Jessikuh and Peter, i dont know a thing about it, but if someone could fill me in id be happy. And i REALLY dont want anyone mad at me, cause i havnt done anything. At first everyone was pissed cause i cant buy cigarettes anymore, now jessikuhs pissed about Peter.........uggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why the hell is everyone always fuckign pissed off at me? i dont fuckign understand it. I dont do anything to anybody and eventually everything falls back on me.
Oh well.....Jessikuh if you get on, call me and tell me what happened. And also tell me if youll be able to make it this weekend. I really want to have a good time this weekend, but if everyones pissed at me that will be impossible. See, Andys bringing you guys some socks....2, and Seva is having a party (i think, not entirely sure yet cause her pools not open) we're going to Shakin thursday night, we're going to the parade friday morning, then friday night we're giong back to the park to see the fireworks, and maybe Elisa can come back with us, cause i told her to meet us at the park this friday sometime. soooooooooooooooooo, everythings prety much planned out so we will have fun, i just need you guys to call me and tell me if its all okay.
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(Eat Me)
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
prettyfairygirl's journal
weird.
hopeful.
enraged.
high.
indescribable.
okay.
sick.